Crime scene. Witness reports seeing a fiery ball of gas in the area during time of death.

Take a dip? Oh this motherfucker is on top of Take A Dip Mountain.

A solemn reminder. Not only do few people have pools. Few people can feed themselves and maintain society's crippling expectations of them.

If I miss a ladder rung, I'll fall back and pretend I meant to do it.

A tacky pool creates more regrets than no pool.

Nope, the phrase "ambitious backflip" never made it into my vocabulary.

Meh. Seemed like a brilliant idea but now I'm paranoid I'll drop the remote.

I BELONG HERE. #cabanaboy

Solid move. They marked off where the second pool will go.

This umbrella understands me.

Siri, google "how to clean a pool."

I'll put it back. But first call me "cabana boy."

Huh. They must think I'm a distant cousin or something. Play it cool.

I'm not pretending this time. Help.

This is unacceptable.

Who does your stonework? The precision has me pulsatin' all over.

Mm. Pretty positive the fence was like that when I got here.

You're probably ashamed about the size of your pool. Don't be.

Whoops. Don't mind me folks.

I got bigtime Tile Envy.

Imagine what a chair peninsula would look like. Now open your eyes!!!

I wonder what they keep in the pool house.

I am a wild boy.